Opening Day of Teeball Season


This weekend was the lidlifter of my son Mickey's fifteen game teeball season. The day started off with a parade through the streets of Howland by all the teams in the league. The kids got to throw candy to onlookers as they marched along the mile and a half parade route. All the athletes were in full league regalia and seemed ready to start the season.


Of course, the league is for five and six year olds, so the games are rather unpredictable. Well, I should say the kids behavior during the games is unpredictable. Most of the assistant coaches time is spent handling beverage requests for the players and making sure that no one takes a ball "off the grill or dome" during the two inning conquest.
This league is instructional which means no outs are recorded and no runs count. The kids hit the ball and run station to station until eleven have batted, and the twelfth gets to clear the bases with his or her hit.
My son appears to be having fun and always wants to go to every game, which is a good sign. Later, he may sour on baseball if he gets a bad coach or has a bad experience. I hope not.


Little league blew ass for me. My coach had a heart attack one game and even accused me of not having enough talent to haul in a can of corn at the age of ten. He told one of the kids at a practice that on the night of his conception, his father would have been better off to masturbate rather than conclude the act of coitus with his wife. This coach eventually died of a heart attack in his forties, and I am still a baseball fan, so no harm done to me. I hope my sons just get to enjoy sports growing up without having to worry about any of that kind of stuff.


And then let them grow up and find a job that is even easier and less work than mine so that they can live a better life than me.